Meeting our Fourth Baby: Our Birth Story

On Sunday, January 18, two days before my due date I woke up feeling great! I still felt comfortable in my massive pregnant body and thought, "Today must not be the day..." We were a little late to church, which had been moved to 9 am at the beginning of the year. When we arrived, I remembered it was the day of two missionary farewell talks. One of the missionaries, Shania, is a dear friend of mine and was one of my young women when I taught the 16-18 year old girls. The talks were great and my three kids ran up to the stage afterwards to give Shania big hugs. I was intercepted in the hallways by many people. Some saying not-so-clever things like "You're about to pop," or "When is that baby coming already!?" My good friend Allie said, "You still have time to have the baby today! I guessed at your baby shower that it would be today!" I told her it wasn't looking like it would be today. Shania found me and invited me to her missionary setting apart at 5 pm. I was excited!

After church, we loaded up and drove straight to the Foster's house for Austin's farewell celebration party (the other missionary leaving that week). We enjoyed some good food and friends. Brother Foster asked me for probably the third time that day, "When is that baby coming!?" And I said, "I don't know. Maybe if you ask me two more times it will happen." Sister Foster scolded him for asking me that. It was funny!

After the party, we headed home to take naps. Everli and I napped for a few good hours. Suddenly, I awoke in fear that I had missed Shania's setting apart! It was 4:58 pm! Two minutes before her setting apart! I texted Shania's sister Haley to tell her I was coming, threw on my Sunday shoes and ran out the door still groggy from my long nap. I drove the 60 seconds to church, parked, and speed walked inside. I was JUST in time. When I sat down I realized I was the only non-family member there other than the Bishop and the Stake President. I felt so honored to be there. The priesthood holders set her apart as a full time missionary and gave her a beautiful blessing.

Afterward, I went home and got my family ready for Shania's farewell party. It was about 6:40. I was downstairs and felt my belly do something really weird. It wasn't really uncomfortable just different, and felt hard and misshapen like a large crooked heart. I worried that the two hard bulges I was feeling were a head and a bum and that baby had flipped. (In my last pregnancy, Everli flipped footling breech 3 days before I was induced, and then flipped back head down for the delivery.) We loaded into the car and I felt it happen again. I was really worried. When we got to their house 5 minutes later, I felt it again as we walked up to the front door. I said to Blake, "Can you feel my tummy? Could this be a contraction or is baby flipped? I have felt it happen every few minutes..." He said it could be contractions. I felt hopeful. We went inside to the lovely party and it happened again. Shania came to talk to me and I told her, "I might be going into labor..." She got REALLY excited and so did I! Haley, Shania's sister got really worried. She really didn't want my water breaking in her house. We all laughed. But she really didn't though... Haha! I was still a little unsure it was actually contractions. I walked around for a bit. I went to the restroom. Then, I asked Sister Smith to feel my tummy and told her my concerns. She said it felt like baby flipped. I got sad.

Then, it happened a few more times and I started to get hot flashes too. I found Sister Foster and told her everything and asked her to feel my tummy. She felt it and looked at me and said, "That's a contraction! How often has it been happening?" I said, "About every five minutes." She said, "You're in labor!" I smiled. Then she looked at me and said, "... Are you having hot flashes?" I told her yes. "You're in labor!!!" she said!  I was so excited and told her I didn't want it to stop. So then we just enjoyed the party for a couple of hours. We ate lots of good food and snacks. Shania and I got to sit in her living room and take down a whole bowl of pizza pockets while I timed contractions. They were coming about every 4 to 5 minutes and lasting 45 seconds to a minute long. I enjoyed the tightening and immediately would do the breathing I had practiced through Hypnobirthing and relax my entire body. Every contraction made me more excited and hopeful. I went to the bathroom again and noticed bloody show. I really was in labor!

I was just a little disappointed because it was already late into the evening and the next day was Blake's birthday. I didn't want any of my family to have to share birthdays. I asked my friend Mauri if she could walk the mile home with me from the party. I really didn't want labor to stop. She said she would love to walk with me, so we planned on it when we were ready to go.

Meanwhile, Sherri, Shania's mom, showed me their newly painted game room, and Shania showed me her cute missionary suitcases. We hung out in her room for a bit, which was really nice to get some time together. Then, Blake, Bishop, and Shania's dad came up and we talked about how excited we were for her mission. She told us about how she had no relationship strings attached and was excited to serve. I told them that I felt like the baby was coming that night sometime! At the end of the party, Shania and I decided to do a tradition. We took the massive cake that had not been cut into and put it on the floor and went at it with forks. Mauri and my kids joined in, too.

Then it was time to go home. It must have been about 9:20 pm. Blake insisted that at least two people walk me home, so Haley begrudgingly agreed to go. She did NOT want my water to break near her! Haha! So, Mauri, Haley, and I walked the hilly nine-tenths of a mile home. It was only a bit chilly outside and felt really good to me. My parents called because I had texted them earlier, and I told them to be ready to come down soon. I began to slow down my walking during each contraction as we got close to my house. When we got there, Blake was upstairs getting the kids in their pajamas and packing for the hospital. I went up because I wanted to get to put the kids to bed before we went to the hospital. I was sure it would be a few hours before we had to go, because I had only been in labor for about three hours. When I got to the kids bathroom, I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement. So I did, and then I helped Anndi brush her teeth. Then, I noticed my contractions were feeling much stronger. I had to lean on my bed through one. Then I went to put my favorite leggings on and some flip flops and had to lean against the side of the closet during the next one. I looked at my clock and realized they were coming every 2 and a half minutes now. I told Blake we needed to leave soon. He was already getting the car loaded up with the items on our list and the bags we had already packed. My parents texted me but I couldn't really concentrate to text them back. I headed downstairs to ask if Haley and Mauri could stay with the kids until my parents got there. I had to lean with my knees and elbows on the stairs through another one. Then I laid on the couch for another one. Then, I went to get a drink of water in the kitchen and suddenly felt like I needed to have another bowel movement... But I knew this wasn't a bowel movement. I heard myself say rather fervently to Blake, "We need to go NOW." So we walked through the laundry room, where I leaned over the washer for another contraction, and then I said. "We need to go like RIGHT now."

So we got in the truck. I remembered I wanted to kneel in the front seat, facing the back seat, with my tummy on the center console, and lean on some pillows for the ride. So, I was in that position, with my head in the backseat basically for the whole 20 minute car ride. The contractions were very close together and very strong. I was beginning to lose my positivity and composure. I began to think of birthing horror stories of pain and suffering. I knew I needed to clear my mind and that my Hypnobirthing soundtrack would help. I asked Blake where he put the headphones and he knew right where they were, he told me, "In the mesh pocket on the side of the ironman backpack." As soon as the current contraction let up, I reached back and grabbed them, plugged them into my phone, clicked on my Hypnobirthing playlist, and put the headphones in my ears just in time for the next contraction. I was breathing deeply and allowing my body to relax still. The familiar soothing sound of the Hypnobirthing lady calmed me and cleared my mind. Then, I felt a familiar pressure in my cervix area and said, "Blake... I'm a TEN. I'm fully dilated..." I felt him speed up. Apparently we were passing Paytonsville Road at the time, which is still 12 minutes or so from the hospital, or halfway there. My mentality began to falter again. I was not thinking clearly because even though I KNEW I was fully dilated I began to doubt myself and think maybe I should get an epidural... Which is not logical seeing as they would not allow someone who is fully dilated to get an epidural and I knew that. But I was in transition phase AND in a car, so I did begin to struggle with my confidence. I began to remember what my cousin Jenn said, that moaning felt really good in this phase of labor. So I began to do a low moan. It did feel good!

As we were pulling off the interstate at the exit by the hospital, I felt some very intense pressure. It felt like the baby was trying to descend into the birth canal. I said, "BABY IS COMING." Blake said, "We are almost there! It's ok we are almost there. You've got this." So he made the last turn and pulled up to the hospital and up the the emergency room doors. He opened my door and said, "We are here." (He must have been so relieved to have made it!) I waited a few seconds until that contraction was done and grabbed my two pillows I had been laying on, stood up with my phone in my hand and headphones still in my ears, and walked into the emergency room. I looked around as soon as I got in there, I needed a place to lean over, I felt the next contraction building.

Blake guided me the last few steps into the small room where they emit you into the hospital. (Across the desk is the back room where they have all the paperwork and offices and such.) As soon as we got in the room, I dropped between the two chairs onto my hands and knees to take the next contraction. I had my pillows under my hands. I was moaning and feeling a great deal of pressure, and saying over and over, "Baby is coming. Baby is coming." After that contraction I said to Blake, "I don't think I can do this..." He said I was doing great and I could do it and it would be over soon. Blake tried to convince the man who was emitting us that the baby was coming and coming NOW, but he just kept asking for my name and date of birth.

A few minutes later, I feel a nurse touch my shoulder and say, "We need to get you in a wheel chair. Can you please get up?" I really wanted to be cooperative and a good patient, but the pressure in my pelvis was so intense that I could not move an inch. I apologized and said, "I can't move. Baby is coming!" The nurse kept trying to move me but I could not move. She must have decided I was not going to get on that wheel chair, because she began to ask me to just roll onto my back. She said, "Will you roll onto your back so I can check your cervix?" Then, with the next contraction I involuntarily moaned and felt the greatest pressure yet and I heard an audible *POP* and then *SPLASH* and felt my legs get all warm and wet. With my water breaking, the baby's head must have dropped quickly because I felt a weight instantly drop down on my tail bone and it brought me into a slight panic. I began to bear down and push to try to relieve the pressure. The nurse insisted I NOT push. I began to pray aloud, "Heavenly Father, please help me! God, help me. Please help me." It was very hard to stay calm when I felt such urgency from the nurse and just wanted to be able to listen to my body.

She asked me again to roll over so she could check me. (They had by this time put some plastic sheets down and closed the door.) I really wanted to comply but really could not move from my hands and knees. I told her, "Just check me like this." And Blake said, "Can you just check her in this position?" The nurse paused and then said, "We need to take your leggings off." And I said, "just cut them off!!" So, to my relief, they cut my leggings off. She said, "The baby's head is right there!" I'm thinking "Duh." I asked them to deliver me like that but she said, "The baby's head will not budge in this position. You NEED to roll onto your back." I said, "Yes ma'am.. Yes ma'am.. Ok... How?"

So then she and Blake gently rolled me over into her lap in a perfect "lemaz" position. I was on my back and it felt like such a relief, and the nurse was so comfy to lean against. I told her thank you and that she was so comfy. They covered my legs with a sheet and the nurse holding me got my shirt out of the way so it didn't get dirty. I still had my Hypnobirthing playing in my ears and it was so calming. I wanted water and I wanted the lights off but they couldn't help me with either of those things. I kept asking for water. As soon as I rolled over, they said I could start pushing on my next contraction. When it came, I began to push. It felt so exciting and liberating. The nurses explained that they would need to take the baby to check on him or her as soon as he or she was born because there was meconium (baby's first bowel movement) in the water, and they needed to be sure the baby did not swallow any. I just wanted the baby to be healthy so I was okay with that.

I closed my eyes and imagined the baby being as small as a sausage and sliding right through my birth canal. My Hypnobirthing track told me, "My baby is the perfect size for my body. We birth easily." I felt the baby crowning and the sensation of the "ring of fire." It was encouraging to me and did not scare me. I knew if I just pushed a bit more the baby would come. The nurses coached me and I pushed the baby's head out and then felt the shoulders come out, I could tell they were not round like the head and were a little more awkward to push out, and I did need to push to get them out. And then I felt the relief of the rest of the body sliding out. The baby really did feel perfect for my body to birth.

Then I opened my eyes and saw a sweet, goopy, HUGE baby before my eyes! I heard Blake exclaim in excitement, "Ohohooo Dani, it's a BOY!!!" I looked at my little boy in amazement. "It's a boy!?" I was so happy and surprised. They wrapped him in a blanket and gave him to me. He was so perfect and I felt so grateful. I looked up at Blake who had never quite sat down, "You still have your backpack on!?" And we laughed. Then, I wanted to know what time our baby was born, and realized it was still Sunday and not Blake's birthday! Our baby was born at 10:56, just over 4 hours since my first contraction. I could NOT believe that.

The doctor arrived right then, across the desk. She looked over the desk at us in confusion. "Why are you in here?" They explained that I couldn't move, it was too late. We all laughed. They took the baby to clean him and check him right outside the room, in the ER waiting area on a stretcher they had prepared for him. I asked the nurses if I had torn, because I didn't feel it if I had. They said I did tear a bit. Then, they had me stand up and get in a wheel chair. I was shaking a bit and still having contractions. When we got up to the delivery room, I delivered the placenta. Then, the doctor gave me some numbing shots and stitched me up. I was afraid I would feel the shots but I felt nothing, to my surprise. I was still shaking and contracting, which sort of felt like someone pushing on a sore muscle that had been worked a lot. It was not my favorite.

I felt a little shocked by what had just happened, and really wanted to see my baby boy. They pushed on my tummy and began to worry that my tummy was not firming up the way it needed to and said they might give me a shot of pitocin. I did not want that! Finally they brought our sweet boy to us and I immediately began to nurse him, because I knew that was a natural way to get my tummy to do what they wanted it to do. It worked! And he was a champion nurser from the beginning.

It was still only 11 something so I had Blake call my parents, who were with the kids by now, and have them bring the kids to the hospital. They had to get them out of bed! We really wanted them to know they had a baby brother and to meet him before we announced anything. While we waited for them to come, I got cleaned up a bit and put on the hospital gown I had made, which didn't even get dirty because I didn't wear it during the delivery! We put the little boy hat we had brought on the baby and when they got to the hospital, Blake led them upstairs. My nurse filmed them coming in for me. When they walked in, Caleb noticed the boy hat and said tiredly and excitedly, "it's boy!?" They all loved meeting him and holding him and then they quickly went back home to bed.

The nurses moved me to a postpartum room a few minutes later, so I was only in the delivery room for about an hour! My nurse helped me into the room and I asked if she was there during the delivery. She said she was the one who delivered the baby. I asked her what she thought about my demeanor during it all and she said I seemed very calm. She knew I did Hypnobirthing because Blake told her what I was listening to during it all. I asked if she had seen someone do Hypnobirthing before and she said she had not, but she saw people with doulas or people attempt to do it but had never really seen someone actually use Hypnobirthing. I was surprised.

Then she asked what we would name him. I told her, "I think we will name him Finn." The Spirit touched my heart when I said it. That night I lay awake and happy, holding Finn, nursing him, enjoying being able to lay on my back for the first time in months. It was pure bliss.

The next morning, Shania and Haley were Finn's first visitors. Haley had put my kids to bed the night before, and they were asleep before my parents had arrived. Shania spent the whole visit holding Finn and looking at him. She said he looks a lot like Everli and I agreed. I got to tell the whole birth story to them and we just hung out for a while. Haley and Shania are like my little sisters, and it was so special to be able to spend time the three of us there with Finn in that peaceful hospital room. I was amazed and so grateful that Shania got to meet Finn before serving her 18 month mission. When they went to leave and Shania gave me one last hug, even Blake teared up. So many prayers were answered and I could not have imagined a more perfect way and time for Finn to enter the world.